We'll Become the Flowers
by bellabitchlestrangee
Summary: Sirius needs help in facing the return home to his family for Christmas and Remus waits for their new living to begin. A living away from the Blacks, away from Lycanthropy. A living with Sirius.


_**A/N:** Okay I know it's been ages since I've actually uploaded anything but, as it's the winter holidays, the concept of time and space hold no value to me any more. There are so many more important things I could be spending my time on too, like exam season but this one begged to be written. Thanks go to hell0lust who gave me the prompt and just the general support I needed. I highly recommend you check out her fics because they're perfect._

 _ **Disclaimer:** I own nothing recognisable._

* * *

Christmas had found it's way to Hogwarts. Outside, white flakes of snow floated down from the white-grey sky, swirling blueish and settling on the sill in a thick blanket. The Great Hall had been lined with large pine trees, each frosted with snow and sprinkled with reindeers that pranced about and mini Santas winking at each other from where they dangled on the branches.

The four tables had been spread luxuriously with porridges – surrounded by jars of jams and shakers of cinnamon – and breads of all kind toasted to a golden crunch.

Four fifth years made their way to the Gryffindor table at one end of the hall and sat down to eat breakfast.

"And my aunt's a real nightmare, drives my mum up the wall with her nit-picking. That's what mum says anyway." Peter said, swinging his other leg over the long bench and licking his lips at the spread in front of him.

James looked up at him from under the mass of black curls. "Yeah but it'll only be for Christmas. She can't be that bad in one week." He said, pouring himself a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Oh don't worry, Aunt Kathy'll find something to complain about." Peter said although his expression was light. He pulled a bowl of porridge toward him and dug in.

Sirius flicked his straightened curls over his shoulder. "I see your nit-picking aunt Kathy and raise you a excessively drinking aunt Druella!" He smiled around his toast.

Peter looked up confused and swallowed a mouthful of porridge. "Druella? Which one's that?"

"That'll be the one that gave her eldest daughter an eating disorder. Been forcing Bella into a corset since she was twelve." He said, giving a heavy sigh. " _Good Merlin, Bellatrix! No daughter of mine will have a stomach like that_." He said in a haughty, cynical impression of a woman's voice. "' _Tighter. These laces can go much tighter.'_ That's a quote from Bella's sixteenth birthday."

The other three winced but Sirius just shrugged it off casually.

Remus' eyebrows furrowed. "That the same woman that married when she was sixteen?"

"Very same!" Sirius laughed. "Although that wasn't entirely her fault. Men choose their wives, the girls have no say."

Remus looked up wide eyed. "That's barbaric. Totally- an… and completely archaic!"

Sirius waved his hand about, gesticulating with toast in hand. "Ah the ways of the Pureblood elite. We are a fascinating people, are we not?"

James snorted into his pumpkin juice. "Speak for yourself."

"Look, I'm not saying I agree with it. Let's be honest, when was the last time a man made a good idea in _anything_? But that's the way things work in my family. I'll go on to inherit the family fortune, take after my father and produce some fucked up little inbred babies. But who'll care? No one. Why? Because they'll be _pretty._ " Sirius face had darkened considerably and the other three stopped talking immediately, instead opting to look into their own meals.

They'd all witnessed Sirius' mood varying massively in the last few weeks. He'd been acting out in lessons, shouting back at McGonagall when she called him up on talking in class. He'd been much more volatile to the younger years especially when they sat on the comfy sofas in the common room. Not to mention the Bludger he pelted expertly into the side of Wilkes' face in their most recent Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. He'd been hospital wing-ridden for a few days before the cracked skull was mended by the ever-skilful Madam Pomfrey.

James, Peter, and Remus knew this acting out very well. It was what Sirius did in the build up to Christmas; in the build up to going home to see his family. And so they sat in silence, spoons scraping the bottoms of bowls, looking for any way at all to change the subject.

James perked his head up. "Hey, you guys heard about Tracey Dickens and Sanouk Jetjiriwat getting caught in the broom cupboards after hours?" The other three immediately perked their heads up. James grinned widely at the wide eyes looking at him. He nodded, pushing his glasses to the bridge of his dark nose. "That's right Filch caught the two of them with their hands up each other's skirts."

Remus looked impressed and nodded thoughtfully. "Tracey's been pining after Sanouk for ages though, haven't they?" He smiled. "Good on them."

Time passed and their conversation turned to assignments that they need to get done before the Christmas break. Within minutes Sirius' face seemed to have lightened. The black look in his eyes had bled back into their normal pearly grey and his mouth wasn't set so thin any more. They all noticed his barking laugh once more and they all appreciated it.

"And Flitwick just doesn't stop. Once he's on about the 'great movement of revolutionary wand motion' he's talking for hours." James gesticulated wildly as he spoke.

Remus shrugged casually. "Yeah but it gives you a lot of material to write your essays on." He took another swig of orange juice from his goblet. "And it usually takes up like all of the lesson so..."

Peter tapped James' shoulder and pointed up at the ceiling. "Owls are here."

Four heads immediately looked up toward the ceiling where owls of all colours were flying through a high window in the cover and raining down onto the students below. A small, auburn burrowing owl swooped down to the Gryffindor table where the four of them were sat. It perched and chirped at James, sticking its leg out for the package attached to be untied.

Another owl swooped over the back of Remus and Sirius' heads. And landed elegantly, stretching its great white wings and tucking it underneath itself with an almost haughty expression. The barred owl looked straight at Sirius with black eyes and blinked once.

Sirius let out a long-suffering sigh.

James looked up from the parchment in his hand. "Mum says this lot's for you guys." He said casually, chucking chocolate sweets to the other three. He looked over to Sirius and immediately recognised the nasty looking barred owl as Walburga Black's. His brow furrowed. "What's that?" He said nodding to the letter attached to the owls leg.

Sirius shrugged in an attempt to seem casual and moved toward the owl, untying the letter. Remus moved closer to Sirius, reading it over his shoulder.

 _Sirius,_

 _I had hoped you and your brother were well and were bringing pride home for your Father and I, but I am sorely disappointed. We've been owled by your Headmaster with a letter detailing all of the dirty little things you've been doing in your first term._

 _It disgusts me to know that a child I have birthed and your father has raised can behave so fractiously. You should know better than to be sneaking out at night like the common, and with those dirty blood-traitors no less. Your father has taught you better than to act so raucously in classes, and I won't have it. If there is not a sufficient grade report by the end of the year to appease me, there will be consequences._

 _Your father has been made aware of your filthy behaviour and he will be talking with you upon your arrival home. Merlin knows we don't need you acting out in front of your aunt and uncle. We'll be staying with your Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus for Christmas so I better see an improvement in your behaviour._

 _Yours always,_

 _Mother._

Sirius slowly placed the parchment back onto the table, opening and closing his fists, knuckles white with suppressed rage. He stared down at the letter, unseeing.

The other three looked around themselves but didn't dare move for fear of upsetting the silence. They watched as Sirius slowly took a sip from his goblet in complete serenity, before his calmness was spoiled by the slamming of the goblet back against the table. The sound echoed and silenced the hall, students from all tables spinning in their seats to get a look at what was happening.

Sirius stood suddenly, sending the bench scraping backwards behind him. Stepping over the bench, he stormed from the table and swiftly found his way out of the Hall, his pace quickening as he went. The eyes that had been trained on him now flicked back to the other three boys at the table. Peter visibly shrank into his seat at all the eyes and James looked around defensively at all of them until voices started to break out around the hall again.

Remus however had the letter in his hand and a dark look on his face.

"It's bad then." James said, nodding to the parchment in Remus' hand. James held his hand out toward the letter and heaved a sigh. "Give us a look then."

Remus handed James the parchment, not staying around to watch him read it. He got up, stepped over the bench and followed Sirius out of the hall.

* * *

Remus pushed against the great wouldn't door, slightly out of breath from climbing the winding tower staircase. The door gave way easier than he expected so he pushed harder, opening it wider. He stepped through it, immediately feeling cold winter air slap his cheeks. The smell of cold stone and mildewy brick settled in his nose and he pulled his arms around him against the offending lack of heat.

His eyes scanned the circular tower room. The desk off to the side was empty, and the wind whistled between the hinges of each telescope on the balcony's edge. He was alone in the astronomy tower.

One section of the circular room was clear of the wall and telescopes. Three shallow steps lead to another circular room of sorts, with it's own balcony. A much lower wall separated a student from this room and the fall to their deaths. It was on this low stone wall that Remus found Sirius, sitting with his arms hugged around his knees and facing out toward the snowy Hogwarts Grounds.

Remus slowly made his way up the steps and over to the balcony, taking care to scuff his feet along the flagstones so Sirius knew he wasn't alone. He stopped when he came into line with Sirius.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Remus turned his head to look down at Sirius. He winced at the tear tracks that shimmered against Sirius' delicately pale cheek. Remus carefully clambered over the wall, swinging his legs over the side so that they dangled above the menacing drop below.

He sighed and looked back to Sirius again, this time meeting Sirius' eyes. His eyelashes had clumped together from the stickiness that is tears and mascara so that it gave a rather racoon-ish impression and his eye liner had started to drift towards the corners of his slanting eyes. And still he was beautiful.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but his chin wobbled and he shook his head, not able to offer any words at all. Remus took the boy's shoulders and pulled them to him where Sirius broke. His chest shook as sobs were ripped from his throat and his black polished nails dragged and clutched at Remus' school jumper.

They sat for a few minutes like that, Sirius slowly sobering in his crying and Remus gently rubbing his cheek against Sirius' ebony hair. Eventually Sirius pulled away and unwound his arms from Remus' shoulders.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, completely aware that he could not have asked a more stupid question.

Sirius only shrugged. "Dunno." He looked out at the Hogwarts grounds, not really seeing anything.

Remus watched his eyes; Sirius' hands coming up to wipe away the tears, the numbness behind the glossy grey pools. "I hope you don't believe anything they say."

Sirius only shrugged again.

Remus sighed. "You are worth more than you know." He said, looking out across the snow frosted fields and the silvery trees of the Forbidden Forest. "I mean the fact that you are still here, still going- well that speaks volumes." He rambled. He knew there were no words to help Sirius. "You spend your time in a darkness, in a fog and it's not your job to pull yourself out of it. But when you are there, with _them_ , please remember that every night the sun comes up and the darkness goes away."

Remus hadn't noticed Sirius' face looking up at him, or the tears starting to form in his eyes. He hadn't noticed the wobble that had re-entered Sirius' chin. And he hadn't noticed calmness that seemed to be seeping into Sirius' shoulders and chest. Remus kept talking. "Please remember that this too will pass. This existence isn't forever."

Sirius sniffed and Remus turned to look at him again. "Please wait with me for this existence to end." Remus whispered.

Sirius looked down at Remus' hand clenched tightly against the stone wall, defensive to the bitter cold air. He gently picked Remus' hand up and entwined his calloused fingers with Remus' soft ones.

Sirius looked back up at Remus. "I'll wait with you." He whispered.

They sat on the snowy balcony, cuddled together on the verge of a deathly drop. Hands clasped in each others', they kept kept out the cold and they kept out the darkness.


End file.
